Baby Book: 13 months

13 months and their very first pandemic! How exciting!

We are extremely fortunate in that we both have jobs that can be done remotely and are not in immediate jeopardy. Our nanny is healthy and smart about social distancing. My MIL is sad to be stuck with us and unable to visit her other son, but we're super fortunate to have her help here. We have enough diapers, baby wipes, and formula. Being homebodies with babies, we didn't have much of a social life before the virus, so we're not missing out on much now that we're stuck at home! There are certainly things I had looked forward to for years that we can no longer do: walking with the babies at the arboretum, play dates with their friends, our summer boundary waters trip. Despite that, we're very lucky overall. I continue to hope for the well being of those around us.

In baby news, they are doing so well!

• T took her first intentional steps last week. She can now walk at least 3-5 steps in a row and she's just so excited about it.
• T also had her first temper tantrum last week. I'm sure we're in for it, but it was pretty amusing as far as developmental milestones go.
• T is getting to be a slightly better eater. She'll feed herself some solids and drink some milk from a straw cup. She refuses a lot more than she eats, though. We're still giving bottles because I can't get enough food in yet. Pediatrician said that's ok through 12 months adjusted. 
• T has learned how to sign 'more'. She understands what it means and uses it in context, both with food and when she wants to have an adult do more of something she's enjoying.
• We've had several past attempts at sleep training, by which I mean teaching the babies to fall asleep independently. Those attempts always crashed and burned when I turned bedtime over to DH, because he and MIL would go right back to rocking them all the way to sleep. DH went on another business trip and I realized just how bad their sleep was and threw my own tantrum that we were going to fix this sleep mess. T has responded beautifully to sleep training. She's now getting about an extra hour of sleep a day and the change in her personality is amazing. She's so much happier now than she was. Less crying, more exploring and playing. I'm so, so happy for her and for us. 
• T has had her first illness, an ear infection, right before her first birthday. She did great, slept well, and didn't even act like it was a problem. The cold that preceded it was more distressing to her. 

• A is a master stair climber. Last week we set him down at the bottom of the stairs. With no hesitation or wobbling, he climbed right to the top like it was the most natural thing ever. He may not be walking, but he's certainly mobile. 
• A's also getting slightly better at eating solids. He'll feed himself some solids and two days ago started drinking milk from a straw cup. He likes a different mix of things than T does, which is tough, but we keep exposing them both to see if something sticks. 
• A has not taken well to sleep training. We're 11 days in and while nights are pretty good, naps are horrid to non-existent. The sleep deprivation makes him as cranky as T is happy. It hurts my heart that he's having such a hard time, but as someone who has struggled with insomnia, I desperately want him to learn to self-soothe to sleep. It's a skill I didn't pick up, and I don't want him to have the same experience I do because of that lack of skill. 
• A also had his first illness, an ear infection. It came about two weeks after Tess's. He was a mess, clearly in pain, and barely slept until he'd been on antibiotics for almost a week. 

Unreservedly Happy

Wow. A year has gone by.

 Thinking back, I can't say that raising twins is the hardest thing I've ever done, because losing twins was harder. I can say that it's the most rewarding, in an ongoing sense. Getting my PhD, that was rewarding, and in a 'change my life' sort of way. But it wasn't as joyous as raising twins. The babies, well, they bring so much joy. I am in awe of them every single day. Their growth, their curiosity, their personalities - what can I say, I'm hooked! I am so grateful for this outcome every single day, even the days with the 1:00 am wake-ups and the inconsolable crying.

 Physically the last year has been tough. The c-section itself was NBD, but the digestive system complications were beyond-adjectives horrible. Weeks of agony. The bleeding didn't stop until 7 months out. My decision to try to pump for twins was also challenging. I didn't get more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep until 7 months out when I dropped the 1 am pump. Mid February was the first time I got 8 consecutive hours of sleep. Bending, lifting, holding, wrangling twins, and twins in bucket seats, all of those things are physically challenging. My neck and back don't love me too much!

 Emotionally the year has been a roller coaster, although mostly on an uphill journey. The NICU stay, the pain, the grief over never having a normal pregnancy and delivery, those were hard. I had DMER, so every single letdown was preceded by overwhelming feelings of thirst, followed by soul-crushing sadness, followed by a return to normal. Realizing first hand what we missed out on with Alexis, Zoe, and Quinn. All that made for some serious 'down'. But the up? The ups have been the best. Rocking a baby to sleep. Seeing huge grins on both babies when I walk in the room. Getting hugs. Hearing my first 'mama!' Watching DH and our parents interact with T and A. Seeing personalities develop. Every one of those things have been absolute highs that really helped ease all the lows of past and present.
Am I a different person today than I was a year ago? Undoubtedly. Am I happy about that? Unreservedly.

Baby Book: 12 Months!

I've been a terrible blogger, friend and participant in much of life lately. Mea culpa. I can only say that ~5 hours a day of pumping, plus work getting busy, plus that whole 'raising twins' thing has distracted me. It's been the best kind of distraction, but I'm ashamed of not keeping up with so many wonderful people who have supported me. With the twins' first birthday I've started the weaning process and I hope to do a better job of keeping track of what everyone else has going on. In the meantime, this was a post I had to make time for.

On Monday, T and A turned one.

• For months now, T has refused to crawl. She doesn't like being on her tummy, she doesn't like getting up on hands and knees. When she wants to go somewhere, she either rolls or badgers an adult into helping her walk there, because she loves to stand & walk. We all keep encouraging her to try crawling, but she hasn't been having it. Sunday, after her first birthday celebration, we set her on the floor. She immediately cralwed halfway across the family room to reach a toy. No going backward first. No hesitation. She just leaned forward and went like she'd always been able to crawl but just wasn't going to show us until now! 
• She can pull herself from sitting to standing. She's wobbly and she can't always do it, but she's done it often enough that it's a skill now.
• Just days ago she figured out how to sit herself up from laying down, although she complains when made to do so!
• She can cruise the furniture with relative ease. 
• T can put food in her mouth and is happy to do so. She will also grab a spoon from an adult's hand and 'feed' herself with messy success. She takes neat bites out of mum mums and french toast squares.
• T's still the needier baby. She wants someone to play with her, and cries if she doesn't get that 1:1 focus. 
• T is noticing her brother and will pass toys back and forth with him. It's amazing how the toy in the other baby's hand is always better than the toy in her own, and vice versa!

• A is constantly up cruising the furniture, crawling, and getting into mischief. The toy he most wants is whatever object he's not allowed to have (e.g., baby monitor, Dad's cell phone, Grandma's sewing.)
• A figured out how to pull to stand, then use the baby gate bars to pull himself up onto the step that leads out of the family room. 
• Like his sister, A wants to feed himself with the spoon. He also likes shoving his nose into the spoon and snorting. This is why our child has carrots up his nose. 
• A is such a happy kid. His grin is so contagious. 
• A's got 8 teeth - 4 uppers and 4 lowers. Molars are next, sob. Aside from constant drooling, he's actually done amazingly well. There have been a few days of bad naps, but nothing more serious than that. 
• A week ago, A figured out that he could reach into T's crib and steal her lovey. We've moved the cribs farther apart, but we usually come in to find him standing at the end of his crib, looking at her. 
• A will stop what he's doing and look for T if he hears her crying. She'll do the same for him. 

Baby Book: 11 Months

The month to month changes at this age are so huge, it's amazing.

• A is now crawling everywhere. He figured out the forward crawl one day and just took off. We've had to baby gate off everything!
• A is pulling to stand on anything that might support his weight. He also stood without any support for a few seconds today.
• A has six teeth and loves grabbing things in his mouth and crawling off with them, puppy dog style! 
• A is so much happier now he can crawl. 
• A has become our better eater. He'll have more ounces of most solids than T will. He's also able to pick up puffs and mums and chomp down on them. 
• A is still the more mellow baby. He loves hugs. When in his walker table, he'll still run over and hug his Dad's legs the moment he sees Dad come into the room. 

• T is showing no signs of crawling. She won't get up on her knees. She can sit if you help her get upright, but can't sit herself up unless someone holds her legs. 
• T will roll to get to toys, but as before she'll only move exactly as much as needed to get what she wants.
• T will 'fake cry' - sob without tears - to have toys handed to her, rather than move to get them.
• T loves to stand if you help her. I suspect she thinks crawling is beneath her and wants to go straight to walking. 
• T started to use the walker table and will joyously run laps around it now. Overnight she figured out how to walk with one foot in front of the other, versus using both feet to push/pull.
• T is now a pickier eater. Foods she enjoyed she'll no longer tolerate. No peas. No bananas. No peanut butter in yogurt. No carrots. She wants yogurt. 
• T will eat some solids, but has trouble getting them into her mouth. She seems to like Mum mums, and she'll eat french toast chunks. If you feed her yogurt melts she'll eat them, but good luck getting her to feed herself! 

Baby Book: 10 Months

The month to month changes are so amazing. I'm glad to be doing this, even if I rarely get them posted.

• T gave us her first intentional wave this weekend. She saw Grammie walking down the stairs toward her, and she grinned big. When Grammie waved hello, she waved back and she was SO proud of herself. It was amazing.
• T now has her two bottom teeth. She's done pretty well for having them both come in at once. 
• T is now sitting quite well independently, although she'll still fall over occasionally. 
• T will now stand up if you help her. She also LOVES to "bounce" - she'll stand, and then do a squat, then stand again. If you help her get back up, as if she's bouncing, she loves it. 
• Because T can sit, she'll happily explore the toy box. She still loves her taco, but the stacking cups have become another favorite. Nothing is more fun than unstacking and chewing upon freshly stacked cups!
• T is still our big eater. She likes pretty much all solids. She's also now able to recognize what's on the spoon and will stop eating things she doesn't like as much, but then start opening her mouth again when you give her things she likes better! We were feeding carrots and yogurt. She refused to open her mouth after 2 ounces of carrots, but as soon as we put yogurt on the spoon, she looked at it, and opened her mouth to eat all 2.5 ounces of that! 
• T has figured out how to make a clicking noise with her mouth. She'll click and be super happy if you click back at her. 
• For the first time, I'm able to calm T down as much as DH can. I guess mommies do exert some powers!
• T is now saying "mama!" on occasion. 

• A is finding more food to enjoy! He likes carrots and pears, as well as his true love, yogurt. 
• A is so close to crawling. He can do a 3 point crawl backward, but is so frustrated that he can't move forward. I hope he figures it out soon. 
• A now has at least one top tooth, maybe 2. 
• A is developing more severe separation anxiety. If you leave the room, he cries. If you let him fall asleep before you put him down, and he wakes up with you gone, he cries. 
• On a few occasions, A has stood up on his own by holding onto the furniture. On another occasion, he flipped on his tummy, grabbed the crib bars, and then pulled his head into them, hard. That didn't go over well, poor fellow! 

Baby Book: 9 Months

I wrote all of these baby book posts around the right time, but between pumping and babies, I never had a chance to post them. Back posting now to keep a log.

Have I mentioned that moming living kids is amazing? The babies make me so, so happy. They're so different, and so challenging, and so wonderful - all at the same time. We decided to be brave and take T on her first restaurant meal with us last weekend. She did great, playing with napkins and a burp cloth and looking all around. Everything was good until we were waiting for the check and I noticed that the hand holding her bottom was wet. It wasn't drool or pee. So, our first public changing experience included a full blow out. Go big or go home, amirite?

• A is 'standing' - holding his own weight and using us for balance. He won't pull up yet, but he LOVES to be standing up. 
• A is a rolling machine. Where you set him down is not where you'll find him if you turn your back for a few minutes. 
• A can get up on hands and knees and rock. He's pushed himself backward a few times when doing that, but hasn't yet figured out crawling. 
• A is not a fan of any foods but yogurt. Yogurt, the kid loves. Bananas, he'll tolerate. Anything else (including things mixed with yogurt) gets 'the face'. 
• A's got two teeth now and drools like you wouldn't believe. 
• His favorite 'toy' is his walker table. He'll cruise lap after lap around it, and he's now tall enough to play with all the toys on the table itself. 
• He continues to be a fan of shopping, and to only tolerate bath time. 
• A's babble now includes "mama!" and "MMMMom!" 

• T has no interest in standing. She'll sit up, but still launches herself backward, so you have to sit behind her for safety. 
• T rolls, but only enough to get whatever toy she wants. She really moves the bare minimum amount necessary to accomplish what she wants.
• T still LOVES her jumper. She drives her Grammie mad by swinging front to back in it, rather than bouncing up and down. 
• T loves food. All food. Especially peas. She opens her mouth, leans so far forward that only the highchair straps contain her, and whines if you don't give her another spoonful fast enough. 
• T loves shopping and other outings. She also loves bathtime, and will kick her legs in the tub hard enough to splash whoever is bathing her. 
• T doesn't have any teeth yet, and isn't drooling much, so I don't think any are coming in soon. 
• T continues to be curious. If her brother has a toy, she wants it. If she can figure out how to do something herself, she's happy.
• As T's reflux is improving, her mood is too. Poor baby, I think much of her crankiness has been tied to reflux. 

Baby Book: 8 Months

Somehow I missed 7 months, because life has just been too busy. I love every minute with these guys (with the possible exception of the last half hour before bath time at night!). Here's observations 2 days shy of 8 months actual, 6 adjusted.

• A's first tooth has come in, just before the 8 month mark.
• He can pass toys between hands, but doesn't often do so.
• He can now roll all the way over, although he still forgets sometimes and is unhappy to be stuck on his tummy!
• A is able to support his own body weight while standing up, if you help him balance. 
• He has the greatest grin, and the happiest I've ever seen him was when DH asked him to 'help' fold laundry and piled clean socks on top of him. He giggled and squirmed and gnawed on the socks and the memory of that simple activity will bring me joy for a long time. 
• He's the more laid back, happy baby, although his 'I'm unhappy whine' and 'Saddest Baby in the World' face continue to make themselves known. 
• He's gone from sleeping 10.5-11.5 hours to sleeping 9.5. 
• He'll eat bananas, but he makes a face that clearly says "WTF did you just put in my mouth? Could I have a burp cloth instead, please?"
• Here's A, plotting his next move.

• T remains our curious one.
• T has figured out how to pass toys between both hands, how to hold different toys in different hands, and how to use her hands (and feet) to grab objects that want to move away from her, like balloons.
• T figured out how to roll all the way over the same day her brother did.
• She will routinely roll to her side just enough to grab a toy, then go back to her back to play. She likes to 'sit up' in your lap and observe the world.
• T still loves being in the carrier, and especially loves going for walks in it. Her little head bobs back and forth from side to side as she tries to take in everything. 
• T's smile is coming out more and more. If she's in the right mood, you can make her giggle by blowing raspberries at her, and she'll almost always blow them back.
• T really enjoys bananas and likes to feed herself with the spoon. She's great at that. 
• T figured out the jumper and there is no place on earth that makes her happier. She'll jump for as long as you'll leave her in it. Now her reach is better, she can also press the button and 'play' music in the jumper. It can't be real understanding, but if you ask her to play music for you, she'll push the button. 
• Here's T, in her jumper.