- Remind myself that nothing at all will change the outcome of that test, not even obsessively googling 'early pregnancy symptoms,' 'wondfo 11 dpo bfp,' 'thin lining success stories', etc.
- Remind myself that I am ready to cycle again. I have a fridge full of paid-for drugs that I'd like to not waste. That means either outcome will be ok!
- Remind myself that I fully expect a BFN, and given my lining, even a BFP is likely to be a chemical.
- Remind myself that testing at 11 dpo is really early so I shouldn't expect anything.
- Remind myself that a BFN will mean I can stop this endometrin for a few days, which would be nice.
- Remind myself that it will be ok, no matter what.
- Distract myself with other things. . . .ok well maybe the googling isn't such a good distraction! :)
None of that works. And now, with so many cycles behind me, I'm really getting curious as to why it's a two days pre-test issue. . . why not the day before? Why not three days before? What odd emotional/chemical reaction is going on in my brain two days prior to testing?
I wonder if some of this is because I'm having symptoms. It's 99.9% likely that those symptoms are the result of the estrace, the endometrin, and the cold I got, but they're a perfect match to my last two pregnancies. Maybe I'd be more calm if there was no hint of a possible positive? Or maybe it's because my last two cycles should never have resulted in BFPs, but they did, so I have wholly unrealistic expectations?
Tomorrow is 11. I am more calm today than yesterday. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
*Disclaimer: although my RE says to test 14 days post-trigger, my last two cycles I tested the trigger out, and it was gone by 10 days post trigger/ 8-9 dpo. After that, I saw legit BFPs by 11 dpo, so I start testing at 11 dpo. What can I say, patience is NOT my strong suit!
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