The last few weeks have been LONG. I now manage a team that includes employees in Bangalore, Tokyo, Queensland, and Shanghai. Our team is also matrixed with leaders in Madrid, France, Santiago, Istanbul, and cities you've never heard of in Poland and the Philippines. I LOVE figuring out how to achieve needed outcomes across the diverse perspectives and cultural approaches. I don't love having many days with phone calls running from 6 am to 7:30 pm. The last two weeks have been bad, and there's no end in sight.
On the TTC front, ovulation is missing as of CD20. I'm not sure if this cycle will be anovulatory, or if it's just really late. If I don't ovulate by tomorrow (impossibly unlikely), I probably won't be able to cycle until May due to a business trip. I'm trying to maintain the mindset of 'it will be what it will be,' but I'm both sad at the possible delay and terrified that this lack of ovulation is the start of menopause.
We had a regroup with our RE last Monday. We're adding in vaginal sildenafil. I very strongly wanted to add prednisone, given my history of autoimmune diseases (juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and celiac). She refused, saying she thinks my lining and my age (e.g., aneuploidy) are the causes of all 5 early losses. One one hand, she's right that those are the most likely causes. On the other, for fuck's sake, the last two years of my life have been littered with unlikely causes. She agreed to dexamethasone at a low dose. I wish I had researched that before hand, as it crosses the placenta, unlike prednisone, and it's been linked with negative outcomes in infants when given in much higher doses.
I also divorced my acupuncturist on Friday. You heard about appointment #1. Appointment #2, she told me I was done, I sat up, and discovered I still had needles in one ear and both knees. At both appointments 1 and 2, we discussed that I am allergic to adhesive, so the ear bead patches she wanted to use would not work for me. Appointment #3 seemed to go well enough, until my ear started hurting after I left, and I discovered she'd put patches on. I called to cancel my next appointment and explain exactly why I was doing so. To her credit, she took responsibility and offered me a free appointment next time. To my credit, I declined. I see a new practice this Friday.
I want to slap your RE. Will do dexamenthasone instead of prednisone? That’s bullshit and egotism all the way.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry these last few weeks have been hard work wise. It Sounds very exciting, but yikes to the hours.
And bravo about the acupuncturist. May the new one be a LOT better.
Good for you for divorcing your acupuncturist. I need to divorce my hairdresser, and that's hard enough! I'll take inspiration from you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, well done on working with all those time zones. My work has always been international, and I've had to know all the time differences in my head, including dealing with daylight saving time changes. There's something about knowing what time it is all over the world.
Jeezum, I'm glad you divorced your acupuncturist. That's hard to do, but definitely three strikes there! Way to listen. And it sounds like your RE isn't listening, either. Which is so frustrating. I remember telling a new doctor that the dose they had me on for Follistim was too high, that I'd probably hyperstimulate, and he was like, "why don't you let me be the doctor?" and I was like, "Whatever, I know what my body does in cycles and you don't yet" and guess what? I hyperstimulated. Even without the MD, we know our bodies best sometimes, and it sounds like she's not listening to your concerns. I don't think they take the autoimmune factor into account as much as they should. If you have a delayed cycle, maybe it will give you the opportunity to talk about the dexamethasone vs prednisone and your very real concerns, and maybe she'll listen to you. And yikes, that work schedule makes me tired just reading about it! Sounds exciting, but exhausting. Best of luck to you!
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