In the Cards for Us

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A few months ago I signed up for an 8 week fertility yoga course. Normally, that wouldn't be my cup of tea. But I wanted to spend a few hours a week doing something nice for my body (e.g., NOT acupuncture or RE appointments), and I really wanted to build an in-person support network. Since moving to MN, most of my non-work social interactions have been via biking, and I'm not doing that while going through treatments. So I wanted the social.

It's been . . . an experience. The four other participants are lovely. The instructor is lovely. The focus of each week's 3 hour session varies, but we've discussed nutrition, mental health, physical health, and plenty of other topics. Some of it has been science based, but the majority veers deeply into alternative/complimentary techniques. For example, we created vision boards one week. I am not a vision board type of gal, but I've tried to stay open, because I don't see any harm. Plus, it was fun to sniff the rubber cement!

Two weeks ago, the instructor brought in card decks. Oracle card decks. If you've never heard of them, they're like tarot cards, but with different messages. The idea is that you ask yourself a question then draw the card that speaks to you and see what it shares. It doesn't get much more "woo" than this, but again, it doesn't hurt, so why not? The last two weeks I've asked questions, drawn, and received cards that didn't resonate with me.

This week I asked myself 'what do I need to know about this cycle', and drew a card. The message on it? "Expect miracles."

What's that saying? "A broken clock is optimistic twice a day?" I don't believe this was a message from the spirits, or my subconscious, or anywhere else. That said, it was nice to read. And if I'm truly honest with myself, I clearly must expect miracles. Refusing to induce with the twins and Quinn - that was me hoping for a miracle. Doing treatment cycles after everything I've been through, again, hoping for a miracle.

So here I sit, expecting miracles, no matter what's in the cards for us.