Finally

For many years, DH and I have been members at the local arboretum. We've loved wandering the grounds and watching the seasons change. From our very first pregnancy, we've looked forward to sharing it with our children.

We went there when pregnant with Alexis and Zoe, and talked about how much fun it would be to bring them back for long walks. After we lost them, on our first visit back, there in the lilac garden we ran into another couple with a double infant stroller - clearly newborn twins. It hurt, but we held out hope some day we'd be back with our own kids. During my TAC recovery, the arboretum was the first place I went, to wander among the Christmas displays. It holds a special place in our hearts.

Last summer I was still in too much pain, and pumping too damn much, to get out to the arb with the babies. Now with COVID, it's on a 'tickets only' basis. We managed to snag tickets for last week. It was awesome. The babies had fun. We had fun. The day at the arb that I'd dreamed of finally came.

I'm overwhelmed with gratefulness for where my life is. There are so many utterly terrible things happening around the world, even right here at home in Minneapolis. I know I'm tucked in a privileged bubble, and although I feel guilt, I'm also grateful for the joy that affords me.