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Monday, August 24, 2020

Microblog Monday: Disappointments

 Alas, IVF attempt #2 is turning into a real dud. Despite an AFC of 5-8, it looks as if I'll only have one, maybe two mature follicles. This is after 3.5 weeks of testosterone priming overlapping with 4 weeks of estrogen priming. I'm now on stim day 11 and expect I'll need day 12, too. I know the estrogen priming is important to bring down my FSH, but man, I do not respond as well after estrogen priming. 

I'm sad. I'll go through the motions of this retrieval and the next two, but given how poor this response has been, I no longer feel any sense of hope that we'll get embryos. Last cycle looked so great, right up until retrieval. If this one already looks poor before retrieval, I have no hope for what's next.

The one positive in this messy cycle was the call I got from the on-call nurse on Sunday. She called after monitoring to give me my next steps. When she introduced herself, she told me that I probably wouldn't remember her, but she was my c-section nurse with the twins! I had not recalled her name, and never would have assumed it was the same person at my RE's office as at the hospital, but I definitely remember her and her kindness. I also remember how happy everyone was, because they'd also seen me during my 27 week hospitalization and they were so glad we'd made it to 31. Getting to say 'hello',  to thank her for her kindness back then, and tell her how the twins are doing was a bright spot in an otherwise dark week. 

In other dark news, I applied for a position I'd really like at my current company. I interviewed last week, but am fully expecting a decline later this week or early next week. The hiring manager had initially encouraged me to apply, but hiring practices have changed in a way that I'll be a lower priority candidate. I also didn't have a stellar interview. It wasn't bad at all (I think), but I didn't knock it out of the park, and I would have needed to in order to be selected. I know there are a ton of other well qualified applicants, so it doesn't hurt, but I'm still sad. I'm anticipating getting both the 'nothing was mature/fertilized' call and the 'sorry, you weren't selected' call on Friday. 

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you're expecting two disappointing calls on Friday, and that this cycle hasn't been promising. So frustrating. I'm glad you had a reconnection with the nurse, that's so lovely! A bright spot in an otherwise crap sandwich. Thinking of you!

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  2. Hoping the cycle turns out with some better results than expected. Sweet about the nurse connection.

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