116

116.

116 beats per minute. That's the little heart beat we saw this afternoon. Despite infections, inflammation, and sub optimal follicles, this little one is certainly trying.

So the nausea of the past few weeks isn't entirely psychosomatic, because we have a heartbeat. Baby is measuring 6 weeks 3 days, which is spot on compared to ovulation. I'll spare you the grainy ultrasound photos, but you can imagine a blob. It's a blob I am already in love with.

I see my OB for the first time in two weeks, and then have another ultrasound with my RE the day after. I am cautiously hopeful, but I won't say optimistic. I don't think there's going to be optimism in this pregnancy, not after how the last one turned out. There is love - I love all 5.5 mm of this little one. I'm still talking to him daily (no idea the gender, but I'm 99.999% sure in my soul it's a boy this time, so I'll go with male pronouns until I find out otherwise). I've been asking his sisters and grandparents to watch over him and keep him healthy. I've been asking him to grow strong and healthy. We'll see what the coming weeks bring.