Should be Easier

There are a lot of things in life that shouldn’t be as hard as they are. Understanding tax laws. Picking paint colors. Dealing with CVS Caremark. Finding time to be healthy. All of those could and should be easier, but aren’t. Adding another one to the list: finding a support group for recurrent miscarriage or perinatal loss. Or a pregnant again after loss group. Despite the fact that I’m an introvert and generally don’t like groups, I’ve really felt the need for some contact, in person, with others who have been through this. It’s an especially strong feeling right now, as I’m early in another pregnancy and trying to deal with fear of likely outcomes and anxiety about the unknown.

Things reached a point this week that I decided to reach out to my company’s EAP program. We actually have two on-site EAP therapists/counselors. They’re both licensed psychologists who see employees to address a variety of issues. They were able to get me in for an appointment the day I called, and it was helpful to talk one on one with someone. The therapist I spoke with said she’d look for a support group that might fit my needs, and she called me back after the appointment with a recommendation on a local one. It sounded perfect: great location for me and on weekends when I’d be able to go without worrying about my work schedule.

I checked the provider’s website, and it looked like the session was just for those post-loss, not yet pregnant, so I called to confirm what my options were, and what the cost might be. What did I discover? There are no longer any in-person support groups. Due to low demand, they’ve all been canceled. When I tried to join a support group last year, right after losing the girls, the one closest to me held its last in-person meeting the week before I could attend, then switched to on-line only.

For now, I can see one of the therapists from this group one on one, but that’s my only option. I may still do that, because there are several who specialize in recurrent miscarriage, late term loss, and infertility, and if this pregnancy continues, I may need that support. But I can also continue to see the great EAP therapist, who works one floor up from me and for whom appointments are both free and super convenient. I am grateful that at least THAT is easy, but man, I wish a support group was easier to find, too.