13 weeks

Baby girl looked really good at her ultrasound this past week. We saw her smacking her lips and putting her hand to her face. We go back for the anatomy scan at 19 weeks on July 7. The twins were born on the day their anatomy scan was supposed to take place, so I'm apprehensive about making it that far, but all I can do is wait and hope for the best.

The MFM we spoke to told us there was nothing we could do to prevent another pprom. If we'd pprom'd with the twins after 20 weeks, they'd give me progesterone shots this time. But we didn't, so they won't. If I'd had cervical issues, they'd do a cerclage. But I didn't. They won't even monitor my cervix because it wasn't a problem last time. I got the usual bullshit answer that bacteria from the vagina can't get into the pregnant uterus unless the water breaks. On the upside, this MFM actually spoke about research evidence, instead of platitudes and headpats. He reiterated what appears to be true from the research I've read: there's not much evidence to suggest you can make a difference in pprom prior to 20 weeks, in cases with no known cause. And I don't have the same risk factors this time: no twins, no bleeding, no CVS. So they're hopeful. As for the statistics? There's about a 25% chance of pprom in a subsequent pregnancy when a woman pprom'd in a previous pregnancy. So we have a 75% shot of making it to term. I guess that's better than our shot of getting pregnant, and we've achieved that, so there's hope, right? No matter what, Baby Girl, your mom and dad love you like crazy and want you to hang out in there and be healthy until at least November!

how far along? 13 weeks

how are you measuring? She was measuring a few days ahead at Tuesday's ultrasound. They showed 13w1d based on CRL. 
size of baby? Peapod

heartbeat?  148 bpm

total weight gain/loss? 120. 2 pounds

maternity clothes? I'm in the awkward stage where my loose clothes aren't really loose enough, but I don't have enough of a bump for maternity. Bleh. 
stretch marks? Nothing new.
sleep?  Up every 2 hours to pee. Feel miserable when I do, until about 2 am.
movement? Nope.
food cravings? Nope.
gender predictions? She's a girl!!!!
what i miss? Going out to eat and not barfing afterward. Every time we go out to eat I puke. 
what i'm looking forward to? My Dad & step mom will be here this week. I am super excited to see them. We'll be taking a long weekend to go up to the Boundary Waters, to the B&B DH and I were at when we were first pregnant with the twins. It'll be a bit of a private memorial for them, and I can't think of anything more fitting, as DH and I were so excited to make the Boundary Waters a family tradition when we were expecting them.
how are you feeling? Still awful. Less constant, completely overwhelming nausea, more retching and puking with no warning. More digestive unhappiness. 
comparisons to last pregnancy? Nothing new this week. 

12 weeks

Well, we got GREAT news on Thursday - NIPT testing revealed none of the common trisomies or sex chromosome issues. Also, she's a baby girl! I couldn't stop crying. I can't tell you how happy I am. That said, I'm now kind of freaking that something will be wrong at Tuesday's scan. I'm terrified that we won't see a heartbeat. I love this baby girl more than I can say, I want to see her grow up, healthy and happy, and I'm unable to believe that we'll be that lucky this time. Monday I'll be making an appointment with a counselor who specializes in stillbirth, difficult deliveries, and infertility. 

how far along? 12 weeks

how are you measuring? No new updates here, so we'll assume normal.
size of baby? tangerine

heartbeat?  We'll find out on Tuesday.

total weight gain/loss? Back to 120, so 2 pounds. I'm still throwing up every few days now I'm off the reglan. It sucks.

maternity clothes? The belly band came out this weekend, and will probably get used this week. I'm on the cusp of my fat pants being too tight, but not yet ready for maternity, especially until I know if she's ok on Tuesday.
stretch marks? Nothing new.
sleep?  Up every 2 hours to pee.
movement? Nope.
food cravings? Nope.
gender predictions? She's a girl!!!!
what i miss? Going out to eat and not barfing afterward. Every time we go out to eat I puke. 
what i'm looking forward to? I'm praying I'll see her heartbeat on Tuesday, and the MFM will help us with a plan to avoid pprom this time.
how are you feeling? Still awful. 
comparisons to last pregnancy? The smell aversions have come on really strong in the last week. That happened last time, but much earlier. I'm praying this ends with the end of the first tri and I can just enjoy being pregnant in the second tri - but I'll put up with anything if she's safe, healthy, and term when she arrives. 

11 weeks

Sorry to miss a week. I was traveling, so week 10, aka 'kumquat' got skipped. Since then, I've eaten my way through all of Southern California (yum) while enjoying a puke-free week on reglan, and then puked my way through the last few days when I had to stop the reglan. 

how far along? 11 weeks

how are you measuring? No new updates here, so we'll assume normal.
size of baby? fig or lego figure

heartbeat?  171 at 8 weeks 6 days. We'll see again at 12w5d.

total weight gain/loss? I'm up to 122 from 118, so 4 pounds. See earlier comments about SoCal eating. No real regrets, I hit all my favorite places one last time.
maternity clothes? Nope, but I am consistently wearing my "fat" pants for comfort.
stretch marks? Nothing new.
sleep?  Pretty sound until midnight or so, then awake every hour.
movement? Nope.
food cravings? Nope.
gender predictions? Boy. Should find out by the Wednesday after next. 
what i miss? Smoked salmon! We have a tradition, going back more than 20 years since my mom first had breast cancer - we do Race for the Cure together. For the last 10+ years, it's been followed by breakfast which always included bagels (gluten free) and smoked salmon. I'm so sad to miss that tradition this year. 
what i'm looking forward to? I'm just praying for good NIPT results in the coming days. I can't bring myself to hope, given our history. If all is well, I'll be thrilled to find out the gender. 
how are you feeling? Awful. More puking in the last two days that in the past weeks. The reglan worked amazingly well in every way, and I'd still be on it except for the fact that it made me start lactating. I couldn't figure out why my boobs were hurting so badly, until suddenly it became clear after a shower Thursday morning. So, back to nausea, burping, puking, and constipation. 
comparisons to last pregnancy? I've gained so much more weight. Last time I was still down 7 pounds at the end of the second tri. Now I"m up 4 with two weeks to go. I need to be more careful about my eating, so I don't cause problems for myself and the lego.