Prayers Needed

Brief update, as I'm flat on my back:

Bleeding turned out to be my mucus plug. I went to the hospital the Sunday before the 4th, and was 3 cm dilated with bulging membranes. I was taken via ambulance to the university hospital, where the MFM said they could try a rescue cerclage, but didn't thnk it would work. They made us do a NICU consult before they'd agree to surgery. I was 18.3.

Surgery took place just after midnight Afterward the MFM was absolutely thrilled. Membranes went back of their own accord when I was placed into steep trendelenberg position. They were able to get two stitches in. Everything looked good. I was discharged the next afternoon.

I had one day at home and then woke up the next morning to a gush. We called and were told to come back to the hospital. The initial test was positive for amniotic fluid, but baby's AFIs were still normal and I'd stopped leaking. I was kept for monitoring. The next morning they had me walk around a lot and retested The consensus was that I had ppromed.

MFMs wanted us to remove the cerclage and induce due to likely infection. They said even if we didn't inudce, I'd probably go into labor. We agreed to remove the cerclage, and all the famly flew out and waited for labor to start. I immediately dilated to 3 and baby's membranes returned through my cervix, but labor didn't start.

I'm now 20.1 and praying to make it to 24 and viability. We are at high risk for infection, as I've tested positive for ecoli and enterococcus. This has been an utter nightmare, but each day with our little girl is a win. If you have a few prayers to spare, please send them our way.

Nightmares revisited: 18 weeks

18 weeks pregnant with Zoe and Alexis was 7 days past pprom. Statistically speaking, once you make it 7 days out, you actually have a good shot of going the distance. When I woke up that morning, still in intense pain, I tried to remind myself of that. Of how great it was that we'd made it 7 days out. Something ominous in the back of my mind told me that I wouldn't have to live with the pain much longer.

Alexis' water broke that afternoon and I went into labor. The girls were delivered the next day. As a result, I hold a special amount of hatred toward 18 weeks, and had been looking forward to Sunday, when at 18 +2, I would be more pregnant than I've ever been before.

Last Wednesday was my OB appointment. Baby's heartbeat sounded great. Otherwise, no issues. Nausea is finally not so constant, and OB was thrilled that I was up 4 pounds (according to her scale. Mine said 7.)

Thursday was normal. Work, home, nausea, normal.

Friday was normal, except that I had this odd feeling in the back of my mind that I should wear a pad. So I did. Which turned out to be good, because when I went to the bathroom around 4:00 pm, there was blood. I tried to calm myself that it was brown and therefore old, but once I wiped I got a lot of fresh, dark red blood.

18 weeks can go fuck itself.

I'm now 18+1, and bleeding is mostly brown. Not heavy enough to go in. My anatomy scan is on Friday. The anatomy scan I never attended with the twins, because I was (literally) delivering Alexis when it was supposed to happen. I'm scared. I love this little girl.

Zoe, Alexis, no matter what happens, please watch out for your sister, ok? Love, your mom.