I've gone a bit neurotic. There, I said it. Admitting is half the battle, no?
What am I neurotic about? Symptoms, of course. Now, let's set the stage here: this is my fifth pregnancy and I have zero living children. The odds of this pregnancy not being successful are probably higher than the odds of bringing home a healthy baby. So I think it's accurate to say I come by my neuroticism fairly. It still makes me laugh at myself and question my sanity, though!
Case in point - nausea this week. I've had off and on nausea most days this week. At times when I was feeling nauseous, my mind kept thinking, "It's too early. I shouldn't be nauseous at only 4 weeks x days. I didn't have symptoms until 5-something last time and I didn't get nauseous until 6.4 or so. It's all in my mind or something is wrong!" At times when I'm not feeling nauseous, I find myself thinking, "Why don't I feel any symptoms? Why am I not burping? Why am I not sick? The baby must have stopped growing. Something is wrong, it's going to be another MMC!"
None of this is helpful in the slightest. At 5 weeks 1 day, symptoms come and go and mean nothing. I know that. I know it's ludicrous to worry about both having and not having the same symptoms. I own my neuroticism.
Still, why aren't I feeling nauseous or gassy right now, I just ate breakfast?!? ;)
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