We both agree that we’d be thrilled if another baby showed up on the doorstep tomorrow. At the same time, we both agree that another baby would interfere with some of our hopes and dreams for the future. We disagree on which hopes and dreams, and we’re unclear on how to prioritize the ‘thrilled’ against the ‘postponed/lost hopes and dreams.’ As I said, complicated.
We also both agree that our family right now is amazing. Everyone said this age is fun, and they were so right. The kids are interactive, funny, and overall delightful. I wanted living kids, but was unprepared for just how awesome they would be. Would a third amp that ‘awesome’ up, or strain it? At least at the moment we have a 1:1 parent to kid ratio. We’d lose that with a third. T is already a great “big” sister to A, would it get better with a true ‘little’ sibling, or would the reduced attention on her cause a negative cascade? It’s complicated.
I thought that the question might be answered for us medically, but it wasn’t. My first PP cycle came, and I went back to the RE, who by some miracle was still doing testing. My AFC was 9. That’s the best it’s ever been. My AMH was .5. That’s .1 higher than it was 4 years ago. My RE called me “stable” and said she’s game to proceed to IVF if we are. She said our situation is time sensitive enough we could start with my next CD1, despite our state’s SAH orders. DH wasn’t ready. I am ready, but I still wonder if I should be.
So there you have it. Lots and lots of talking, but no more answers that I had 6 months ago. I *think* we’ll try a round of IVF in May/June and see how I respond. We can make decisions from there. It’s complicated, but that kicks the ball down the road and perhaps gives us a medical answer after all.
Wow, that is complicated. I know everyone goes through this period of decision, whether it’s to have children or expand their families further. There is definitely a trade off, but there are definitely additional things you and A need to consider.
ReplyDeleteOne question I do have is whether you need to undergo another TAC procedure. I remember this being something you had to do and recover from. Is your current one still in place? I honestly don’t know how this works and am curious.
Regardless, thinking of you as you guys go down this road.
Yep, I'd need a new TAC. Only because I opted to remove the original one, which in retrospect was a poor choice if we really do want a third!
DeleteThat said, we'd need to get euploid embryos before a TAC, and the chances of that are slim enough that the worry about the TAC seems far off. I do know that if we got PGS normals, I would do a LAP-TAC this time, with a different doctor at a different hospital. My University of Chicago experience was too bad to go back there, although the TAC itself performed flawlessly. I'm willing to trade the percent or two decrease in success rate for a laproscopic procedure instead.