Monday, August 1, 2016

Risk Hope?

In early pregnancy, doctors expect hcg levels to double every 24-72 hours. A 48 hour doubling time is considered good and a promising sign. There is a bit of data to show that longer doubling times, while not automatically a problem, are correlated with worse outcomes.

My initial hcg was 249.9 on 13 DPO.

My second hcg was 837 on 15 DPO.

That's a doubling time of 28 hours!

Those are really damn great numbers. (That's the first time I've been able to say that about ANY of my test results in the last 8 months.) Those are numbers that mean this isn't another chemical pregnancy. But my first pregnancy ended in a blighted ovum, which would have had much higher hcg levels than those above. And that means these numbers don't automatically mean a "take home" baby.

So, do I risk having hope? I want to be hopeful that this pregnancy is going well and will stick around. I want to be hopeful that I'll see a heartbeat in 16 days. I want to be hopeful that maybe, just  maybe I'll get a happy ending.

Don't know what the answer is, but I'm going to stick with an affirmation a woman in my loss group shared: Today I'm pregnant and I love my baby.

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