Chugging Up the Incline

Welcome to Microblog Mondays! Want to learn more and read more? Head over to Stirrup Queens for the details!

There is no description of infertility more apt, to me, than that of the roller coaster. From one moment to the next, emotions, hopes, fears, possible outcomes can change. All it takes is one ultrasound, one phone call, one blood test, one hpt to instantly change your state of mind and your hopes for the outcome. Heck, sometimes it doesn't even take any one of those things; simply living from one moment to the next can cause the change! To be fair, I could describe each of my pregnancies the same way.


If my normal luteal phase applies, I'm less than a week out from CD1. The coaster is here, and I'm on it. We're chugging up the first hill before zipping away to the unknown. I know there will be highs and lows, but hopefully this time I can hang on long enough to get off the ride, grateful for the experience. .  .although I don't see myself as that rollercoaster rider who immediately begs to go again!

Microblog Mondays: Me and My Shadow

Welcome to Microblog Mondays! Want to learn more and read more? Head over to Stirrup Queens for the details!

Here I sit at CD19, and it appears I've finally got a positive OPK. I'll assume ovulation in 24-48 hours. It amazes me how differently my body can behave at different times. If I look at the cycles I've tracked when I didn't get pregnant, the longest my cycle has ever been was 28 days. That's the entire cycle. The shortest was 20. Now it seems probable I won't even ovulate until 20 or 21.

What would I give to understand what's happening in there? A lot, that's what I'd give! Why are things so different from one cycle to another? Does this bode well (or not) for a treatment cycle next month? It seems rather unfair that this body, that I have to take care of, won't give me any insights into what its doing! Alas, we seem to be stuck with each other, so I'll keep taking care of it, and asking it to play nice in return. . . I suspect it will keep ignoring me!

On reflection, I guess this is what my life has brought me to: the point where my body is a thing that is separate from me, that frustrates me, and that I try to cajole/bribe/force to work the way I want it to. I might need to rethink my approach on this!