Getting Worse

Saturday morning was my second follicle check. I was hoping that with the increased dosage of Follistim, I'd see some good progress and my estrogen would be up. Instead, my estrogen has dropped and I still only have one follicle in contention. I'm upping my Follistim dosage to 300 iU a night and I go back again on Monday. The nursing staff warned me that unless there's improvement, my cycle will be cancelled.

It makes no sense, but I've got this thought that keeps running through my mind: Maybe Alexis and Zoe were the babies we were meant to have. Maybe they're the only babies we were meant to have, so there will be no more. I love them so much, and I'd give just about anything to have them arriving, safe this month as originally planned, but I hope they are not the only children we'll be parents to.

Here are the numbers this cycle vs. last:

Last cycle:
CD10, after 7 nights of Gonal F 150 iU
Right = 19, 13.6, 7
Left = 16.5, 15, 10, 8
LH = 1.03 miu
P4 = 1.66
E2 = 1294

This cycle:
CD9, after 4 nights of Follistim 150 iU and 3 nights of 225 iU
Right = 14.5
Left = 9.5
LH = 1.15 mIU/mL
P4 = <0.05 ng/mL
E2 = 432.4 pg/mL