I rearranged my work schedule to go in for another beta today. I knew it wasn't a good sign when no one called me with the results. My last great beta, which I think was Quinn's cycle, two separate nurses both called me because they wanted to be the one to tell me. Today I had to call them.
It's 64. Roughly 46 hour doubling time. Which doesn't sound bad, but at hcg levels this low, doubling should be closer to 33 hours.
I am so scared that something is wrong with the baby. Some trisomy that's leading to slow growth. Something that will let us get a few more weeks in, maybe through an ultrasound or two, before the pregnancy ends. There are few worse possibilities given my TAC, age, and my Asherman's. Anything that risks more uterine scarring, makes me even older before we can try again is really, really bad news.
I know strong betas can end that same way - heck my first blighted ovum had beautifully dark lines on hpts, but dear god I would appreciate either something reassuring, or a quick end to this. I really, really promised myself this cycle that I'd try to enjoy being pregnant for as long as I could, and then the lines started getting lighter and it just hurts. A lot. I forgot how much early losses hurt.
I go back again on Saturday to see what the numbers are doing. I try to remember that it "took" three miscarriages before we conceived the twins, so maybe we're just repeating that pattern.
For the love!!!! I’m so angry they are treating you this way. I understand it’s much more fun to give good news, but come on!!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there lady. Beta hell is awful. Just awful.
It's a little ridiculous that they didn't call you with results.
ReplyDeleteBeta hell is so frustrating and there isn't much you can do other than wait and see :( My thoughts are with you - hopefully Sat's results are positive.